Marcus ;D

2011-12-09T21:53:00.004+08:00

Fluffy. Rest In Peace, I'm really gonna miss you a lot.

I'm gonna miss the days whenever I come home, he will be always there to greet me. Always waiting at the door. I'll miss the days when we play fetch or when I rub his tummy, or when i disturb him by blowing his ears and he will use his cute little paw to scratch his ears. I'm gonna miss him when he always comes to me when there is thunder and lightning. He will always lie next to me whenever there is a thunderstorm and I would have to cuddle him so he won't be afraid. I'm gonna miss hugging him and cuddling him on my bed. I'm gonna miss seeing him laze around the house and bark when there is a stranger at the door. I'm gonna miss disturbing him. I'm gonna miss showing off to people what tricks he can do.

DAY 1
I still remember the first day we took Fluffy in. It was in the afternoon when i saw this cute little white dog walking outside my condo. He had no leach, no owner. Then, at night, I brought my dad to go to the guard post at the side gate. There was it, tied to a rope and wagging his tail. The guard said that dog just walked into the condo and there was no owner. I convinced my dad to take him in and feed him. My dad told the guard to let us know if anyone was gonna look for that dog. So, we brought him up to our place, he looked scared and excited at the same time, pacing around our house. we fed him and gave him some water to drink. I decided to call him fluffy cos he was just so fluffy and adorable.

He started doing tricks like sit, roll over and asking him to come to you on command. He was this cute little white dog that i love so much.

His Last Day ( Yesterday )
He just came back from grooming. The past few weeks, he started choking and coughing. I thought it was just fur or he had something in his throat, but we didn't think it was serious. Then lately, he kept doing that choking sound very often. At night, we decided to bring him to the vet the next day cos he looked very sick and pathetic. He had no energy to walk, so i carried him to his bed and laid him there. (Who knew that was the last time i was gonna touch him alive). After I laid him on his bed, I patted his head and I went to my room. When I was in my room, I could hear the loud choking sound he was making again. but I ignored it and went to sleep. Now I really regret not going out there and see what happened to him. I didnt know that he was suffering so much. I feel really guilty and I'm so sorry fluffy. I've let you down. I hope you forgive me. I really love you and always will. You were always there for me even when I was alone and feeling very down.

RIP Fluffy, My best friend.

2011-11-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

8

I have one word for today. SHAG

My back hurts like mad. My whole body is aching... damn it!

2011-11-26T23:27:00.002+08:00

perfect 7.

I just listened to the song It Will Rain by Bruno Mars and It reminded me of you. the thought of you still lingering in my brain, proves that I do still miss you. That sucks. because no matter how hard I try to block you out of my life, its like, you always seem to crawl your way back into my mind. I don't know how or why, but its just like that.

/ why cant all relationships stay in that 'honeymoon' phase? where everything else don't matter. Just as long as your with your love one, nothing else matters. where all the kisses, hugs, tickle fights, watching a movie together, hanging out and doing crazy stuff wont end. Why must there be quarrels, fights and arguments? Why cant there be that kind of relationship? hmm. These few days have been rather depressing for me. i hate it.

2011-11-23T23:01:00.002+08:00

Post 6

Went to school today, lessons were boring. But training and talking with the girls was fun. haha! anw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RISA MIYAZAKI! stay adorable! damn shagggg cos of gym training.. sigh.

I have no idea what happened to me. I don't know what I want anymore. Seems like I've lost it. hmm. feeling kinda down though.

\/. Not gonna disturb you anymore.

2011-11-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

5

20-11-2011

Went to Church today. Gillian supposed to come to church with me, but she bailed on me! :(
Anyway, we talked otp during lunch time. :) I stayed home after church! supposed to go gym or play golf. but didn't.. T_T sigh.
gaaaaaaaaaah, tmr is monday. which means there is SCHOOL. sigh.

I'm so sorry. I tried to make things work, but I couldnt feel it.

2011-11-19T22:16:00.002+08:00

Post number 4.
Today didn't go training cos I wasn't feeling too well. hmm..
Woke up, played xbox and rest more. My day was preeeeetty boring.. Oh well. Good rest day. ;)

I was lost for words when I saw your pictures. you looked beautiful ~

Your smile is so addictive, It made me go crazy.
If only you didn't know that one thing about me, at least I would still have a shot. But thanks to one wrong move, it made me lose out on everything we COULD possibly have.

/ You light my world up like nobody else.

2011-11-18T23:42:00.004+08:00

Post number 3.

Well, today I had to cab to school cos apparently I didnt hear my alarm ring and woke up late. T_T $12 gone just like that. niaseee. ~
Then, In school, I had this interesting and fun Relationship module/workshop. It really helped me by changing my entire view of what LOVE is. Yes, TRUE LOVE. Not some puppy love. I learnt what my mistakes are and what's right and what's wrong. Apparently I've been doing all the wrong things ( which explains why am I like that now ). Actually most teenagers and youths now have the wrong idea and perception of what LOVE is. Its not something you can give it away freely. Its not something to play with. It's true that we can have a little bit of adventure and exploration, but be careful not to get in too deep. All break ups leave a mark. Its like ripping two paper apart which is held together by glue. There will be pieces of paper stuck on each other. Its just like scars on the two people after the break up. But there are ways to deal with the break up and I learnt how to deal with it in the workshop. :)

There are many differences between what girls want and what guys want. For girls, they want someone to listen to them. More of Emotional support. For guys, they are more... physical. When I say physical, its not just SEX. (oh please. -.-) Its more like, feeling needed like, physically. Guys want to be girl's pillar of strength, want them to feel wanted. Guys wanna feel 'in charge'. Guys are simple minded AND ARE CLUELESS WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT GIRLS WANT. Sometimes guys really dont understand girls and that makes the ladies feel very irritated and end up saying : " omg, why cant he just be more understanding? ". Right? Its common. Cos guys just think of Soccer, Women, SEX, toys and many other irrelevant stuffs. Girls however, tend to OVER think. Everything is linked with one another. One moment they are talking about shoes, the next, food.

Its funny how the way men and women work. hmm.. oh well, guess i have nothing else left to say?

V : I dont get it why you felt so insecure and had such a low self-esteem. STOP comparing yourself to her. You're way better than her.

A : I'm sorry. I just.. hmm. i dont know.

C : I think we should stop talking to each other. That's fair for me and you. Cos if you leave me hanging just like that, I'm just gonna end up getting hurt all over again. and I'm not gonna fall for it. It is obvious that i still have feelings for you, but I need to get rid of it and move on.

2011-11-15T21:05:00.002+08:00

Day 2 of blogging.

Well, today i woke up at 10? ate a little, played FIFA. THEN! I supposedly went for training.. but when i reached paya lebar, i found out that there was no training. -.- zzz. so had to go back, but decided to go to the gym. gymed for like an hour and a half? went home. took a bathe and rest.
well, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and at least get to enjoy my time with that KLUTZ. :)

/ I didn't know what to say when you texted me. did you do it to mock me or torture me? or both. sigh. what do you want from me?

I know what went wrong. we rushed it. it was too sudden. you weren't thinking straight. So was I.

2011-11-14T22:46:00.002+08:00

alright, I decided to go back to blogging. oh well. haha! this brings me back to primary school. gosh.
well.. guess i shall blog about you.

You were my everything. Now? You're just a stranger to me. I'm trying to ignore you and avoid you cos i feel that its the right thing to do. But ohhhh how wrong was i. -.- You're still in my dreams, in my mind. Come on, I have to walk by your block twice a day. everything around me reminded me of 'US'. Fuck this feeling. Well, I'm glad you moved on with your loveydovey new boyfriend. -.- ( ya right ).

But I have to move on. I admit, it make take a year or two. but I have to. This is just like sy all over again.

Oh well. ( to someone else ) Thanks for making all this better for me. sorry if i upset you.